feeling better now

Yes, life is still crap at work place, but not all bad, still some positively good people and good things happen. I feel better. I just wish I can take in control of my emotion better...getting better day by day. At least I can control my anger and turned it into positive action~boy you should see my face, twisted and turned...well not quite but almost. I remember when I used to argue with one of my friend, he always said I should looked myself in the mirror. I know exactly what he meant, but anger consumed me, I couldn't care less when I just my point to be heard...which obviously hadn't been heard anyway.

What makes today different? I kept thinking about people who tolerate and love me, who support me and still continue to support me....and I won't let them down. I was brave...well if you called that. The situation will not change, coz it happened a year ago...still happening..so I will adapt the changes...use it to my advantage....just hope all goes well....and I just wanna enjoy my life, be merry, have lot's of fun and make people smile! Hope my wishes will b e granted~ ^_^

It doesn't help..what's wrong?

Hate it! I hate my life after work..can't wait til weekend. Not about the work load, bloody politic..I just wanna get out of here! Not sure what else I can do. Yes, my CV is going to look good, great training and development need. but I hate being here....why?

ahh...my ego..yes, that's the fault! I have big ego and character! Only I survive, noone else can....

Of coz I have big ego, I am better than you! My sin~why should my idea be taken off and get credit by you? What have I done wrong? Tell you too much?!

Let's go back a step, looking at it in a Buddism view. I should harm noone, but not let anyone harm me. Karma: What comes around goes around. I am a peaceful animal, I don't want to harm noone. Yes, ambitious, to make my parents proud, they work hard to see me here...I have no ego in killing people on the way up my career. Why not work with me so you get what you want and I get mine?! Doesn't that kill two birds with one stone? oh,that's a sin too..coz you only want to see yourself success and noone else

damn, head pounding like mad! I don't like me now! Get me outha here! Does it solve my problem if I just run away?

Help ...

(p/s: what will happen to me if my company see this? get fired..?)

Selfish and manipulative

I aspire not to be ignorant and arrogant. I am no wise man. I try hard not to be racist and stand in others shoe to understand their perscpetive. Compassionate and kind are my believes. And I avoid being a hyprocrite, I say what I think or if not I will try not to say.

I hate selfish people. Please take them away from me. I hate evil hearted people. I am afraid of myself being with them. I don't like to be manipulated. And I know when they are around. They think I am foolish...I am not foolish, I don't want to be like them. I just want to be myself. So go away~I am not your prey~ I don't want to be a two faced person hanging with you!

I treasure your kindness, I will be kind back 100 times more~

So selfish, evil and manipulative people, stay away from me!